1. LA Clippers – Blake Griffin, PF-Oklahoma
The saddest thing about the Clippers getting to take Griffin is that he makes the Clips young nucleus so much more tantalizing, all the while all of their careers will slowly murdered by Mike Dunleavy and owner Don Sterling. If the Clips could get rid of Dunleavy, trade Randolph to Memphis (I assume Chris Wallace is interested, you know, because he’s an idiot) and try and move Barron Davis and or Marcus Camby around, they would have a really exciting, likeable core of Kaman, Thornton, Griffin and Gordon, which is also sounds like a Dr. Seuss rhyme. Additionally, Thornton looks like Voodoo Tatum from Friday Night Lights, Eric Gordon looks like a stuffed animal, Griffin is the only ginger/black guy in the NBA, and Kaman is the ugliest abomination in the history of existence. What’s not to like about that group from multiple angles? Throw in a bench of DeAndre Jordan, who could eventually take over for Kaman, not only because he’s younger, more athletic and cheaper, but because his last name is two syllables and ends with and ‘N.’ However I’ve had this feeling before. Like when Odom, Miles, and Brand were supposed to run the Clips. It didn’t work out because it just doesn’t in Clipperland. Sadly I see round deux on the horizon.
2. Memphis Grizzlies – Hasheem Thabeet, C-UConn
FOLD ALREADY. YOU ARE A FAKE BASKETBALL TEAM.
I hate the Grizzlies. I hate how they don’t spend money, love getting hosed, and don’t have any fans, all the while holding on to some really cool young players, who could be playing elsewhere, making by NBA fandom exponentially better.
The Grizzlies are gonna screw this up clearly. They for some reason are not going take Rubio, who even if he doesn’t want to play in Memphis holds more trade value than Thabeet. The Kings have to be stoked too, because it appears the Thunder are leaning James Harden (their passing on Rubio is excusable, as Westbrook is a great young point guard and you don’t want to mess with his head) so they can just sit at 4 an
d take Rubio, when he clearly shouldn’t be available. What Memphis should have done is they didn’t want Rubio was try and get the Kings to swap the 2 for 4, acquire Spencer Hawes or Francisco Garcia in the process, and then take Thabeet or Jordan Hill, who would be perfect for the Grizz. Alas, Chris Wallace has some form Munchhausen syndrome where he continues to poison his team for no rational reason.
(Also, I’m way too excited for Thabeet’s draft day interactions. I’ll delve more into this during the drunk diary)
3. Oklahoma City Thunder – James Harden, SG-Arizona St.
Sam Presti will again make a phenomenal selection. Harden will be a high character, potentially phenomenal second banana to Durant. Presti is so good I could see him tricking the Clippers into trading Blake Griffin for Nenad Krstic. I would put at least a dollar on it.
4. Sacramento Kings – Ricky Rubio, PG - Spain
I touched on it earlier, but Sacramento has to be really excited about this. There have been some rumors that the Kings would pass on Rubio if he was here, but there’s no way that happens. He’s too enticing. Plus, that would be the first thing to talk Kings fans off of the ledge for roughly three years. Anytime your best player has the ugliest shot since Shawn Marion was in the NBA, you know your fan base is suicidal.
(wait…Shawn Marion is still playing? You’re kidding? For who? The Raptors? Really?)
Update!!
5. Minnesota Timberwolves via Washington (probably) – Tyreke Evans, PG/SG – Memphis
According to Chad Ford, the Wolves are sending Randy Foye and Mike Miller to the Wizards for garbage players and the 5th pick. I'm a little perplexed, because I feel like Minnesota could havepulled the same deal with out losing Foye. If they keep Foye, and take Evans and Curry, then they have a pretty potential laden back-court. I hope this GM is better than McHale, because I think it might just be too much for fans of Minnesota basketball. On the other end, well done Wiz. Foye makes that bench a lot better, especially if they can trade Nick Young for some front-court beef.
One more note, I could see the Wolves taking a point guard with one of these picks, like Curry, Evans, or Flynn, but I can also see one of the picks being DeMar DeRozen. He's loaded with potential and rounds out the Wolves starting five in a more conventional way.
According to Chad Ford and some various other, better, sports blogs, the Wizards have been offered Ray Allen from the Celtics, McGrady from the Rockets, Larry Hughes and Wilson Chandler from the Knicks, and Vince Carter from the Nets. If I’m the Wizards, I do, well…ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
The Wizards made the incredibly poor choice of not rebuilding around just Caron Butler, Andray Blatche and cap space, and instead extended Arenas for more money than anyone else would ever pay him. If they really thing they can make a deep run with Arenas, Butler, and Jamison, then you don’t take anyone who is available at five.
I would have to guess that the C’s pull the trigger here to move Allen for Tyreke Evans so they have some future in the back court. A semi-dumb move, but I get it, because in 2 years the big 3 are done and the C’s have Big Baby and a lock for a malcontent young point guard.
6. Minnesota Timberwolves – Stephen Curry, PG-Davidson
The Wolves are so bad that the only move they can’t make is to take another power forward. Stephen Curry would be a killer pick here. Foye can clearly move over to the 2 and then the backcourt is pretty formidable, not to mention sweet shooting. I also think Curry is the kind of guy to be excited to be in Minnesota if they start get better.
7. Golden State Warriors – Jordan Hill, PF – Arizona
The doomed ‘Monta Ellis is totally a point guard’ experiment will force the Warriors to take Jordan Hill and trade Brandon Wright. I like Jordan Hill, especially in an up-tempo offense, but imagine a Jrue Holiday, Ellis, Stephen ‘Wait, he’s really in a gang?’ Jackson, Anthony Randolph, and Andris Biedrins. I feel like the theme of the NBA now is ‘don’t do the cool or interesting or logical thing with your line-up.’
8. New York Knicks – Jonny Flynn, PG – Syracuse
I really want this, and think its completely plausible. I think Flynn will be good. I think he will be an all-star under D’Antoni. He fits New York, he went to ‘Cuse, and is a big time performer. I will be genuinely sad when they take Jrue Holiday or Brandon Jennings, who won’t be half as good in this system.
9. Toronto Raptors – DeMar DeRozan, SG-USC
The Raptors are boring. I don’t care about them. Bosh is disappointing and Andrea Bargnanni’s name is Andrea. Good luck DeMar.
10. Milwaukee Bucks – Jrue Holiday, PG-UCLA
I feel like Holiday will be hit or miss for the Bucks, have a decent 3rd season, and leave Milwaukee. That’s a lock.
Also, the Bucks just traded Richard Jefferson to the Spurs for Fabby (hahaha) Oberto, Bruce Bowen, and Kurt Thomas. That makes the Spurs a little scary again, and the Bucks EVEN MORE BORING. Jesus Christ if I were in Milwaukee and had to watch a purple and forest green laiden Luke Ridnour throw slightly off-kilter bounce passes to a sleepy Andrew Bogut I would punch myself in the throat at half time just to mix things up.
11. New Jersey Nets – Terrence Williams, SF/SG – Louisville
I’m excited about Terrence Williams. He is legitimately interesting. He’s eccentric, he’s Ron Artest built, he could be awesome, or he could be terrible. I think if the Nets unload VC for the 5th pick and take Jordan Hill, that would be a way awesome young line-up that looks like this:
PG – Devin Harris
SG – Chris Douglas-Roberts
SF – Terrence Williams
PF – Jordan Hill
C – Brook Lopez
Sweet right? This mock draft is sadly turning into just theoretically cool line-ups and being mad at certain teams.
12. Charlotte Bobcats – Gerald Henderson, SG – Duke
This is a pretty vanilla selection that seems inevitable. Let’s just replace Raja Bell with younger Raja Bell. Yawn.
But on the bright side, Bob Cat or whatever his name is that owns the team is trying to sell it. Hopefully they move to Seattle so we can stop forgetting there is a pro team in Charlotte.
13. Indiana Pacers – Brandon Jennings, PG – International…kinda
Brandon Jennings will suck. I almost stand by that. He doesn’t make good decisions, shoots too much for a point guard, and has a terrible attitude. How is he not Stephon Marbury’s lo
ve child from when he was in 6th grade? Eventual head tattoo. Calling it.
This is it for today. Ill finish round one tomorrow. Gracias.
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